As incredibly smug as this may sound, our wedding was nigh on perfect; it ran to time, everything that we wanted to happen happened, our guests had a blast and we look back on the day and think, “Good job us, good job.”
However, as smoothly as our day ran, there are still things that I wish we had/hadn’t done in the run-up to, and on the day of, our wedding. So over the coming weeks, I’m going to share the things that make me go, “Damn, I wish…….”
Things I wish I could change about my wedding – the invitations:
Make it really, really clear who’s invited – We decided against inviting any children under the age of ten to our wedding – I know, I know controversial. There were a myriad of reasons, the main one being seating. Our venue could comfortably seat up to eighty people, which meant we had to be very strict with our invite list. We simply couldn’t justify not inviting some of our family/friends, in order to invite around eight little people. It didn’t seem realistic to allocate 10% of our invite quota to little ones who probably wouldn’t even remember our day. As you can imagine, some guests were understanding and some, well some not so much. But it was our wedding, and our decision so we stuck to our guns.
Along with our save the dates, we included a note to every parent explaining why we had decided to not invite children, but that they would me more than welcome in the evening. As the wedding date approached we sent out our invites, only naming the parents on the ceremony and reception invitation and sending a separate evening invite to the little ones. “Job well done,” we thought, and carried on with our wedding planning.
It was about a month before our wedding day when I heard through the grapevine that a couple of guests with children were buying them outfits for our wedding. At first I thought it was for the evening, then the realisation hit me between the eyes – they were dressing them up for the day! It seemed that, although these guests had received the note and the invites, they didn’t think our no children policy applied to their children??!! What followed was a flurry of phone calls explaining to some disgruntled guests that their little darlings were not actually invited to the ceremony and reception. It was unpleasant, it was stressful and it was a glitch that could have been avoided.
Now you may think that we had done enough, and I would agree with you. However, some people will always assume. Keep that in mind when you’re sending out your save the dates, talking to them about the wedding and sending out your invites. If we had personalised our original notes with the names of each child, a whole lot of stress could have been avoided.
So make things crystal clear!!
I would also add; if you are intending to go down the childfree wedding route, try to be understanding and diplomatic when explaining to people why little ones are not invited. Parents tend to get very emotional, defensive and a bit blind when it comes their own children. You may notice that little *insert child’s name of your choice here’s* behaviour is unacceptable, but you won’t foster relations with his/her parents if you point that out to them!
Good luck with all your wedding planning, if you’ve had any wedding invitation misinterpretations then hit the comment section.